So, I assume you listened to the song and maybe even liked it. Possibly you found the song brilliant or just crap, maybe you know feel delighted or maybe you feel like you wasted your time, maybe you found it sad or maybe happy or angry or what ever.
My intentions to make this song were the following three:
The first: to create a song with only free software to put on my website and with which as many people as possible can identify, so that beginners can learn from it. See the tutorial.
The second: By the way, I wanted to send a message, to express my feelings about “mainstream uniform constraints” in music.
The third: I wanted to show certain people, that my music sounds like it does, because I want it that way, not because I can’t do it differently. That’s the shadow over this song and was somehow unconscious in the beginning…
The song became ok in my eyes, but in some point it’s too exaggerated and desperatly “tries to be like”. I’m not always myself. The song has one general weakness. It’s in the final section of the song. The last break before the final melody is almost embarrasing in my eyes. It’s absolutly not necessairy to make that much wind around this final melody. I’m pushing it up as if it was the best idea of my life. It’s not bad, ok, but it’s not a real summit. The progression to it is much more than it needs, it’s promising much more than really follows (typical syndrom in psytrance).
In this passage you can hear, that I tried to be someone else, I tried to make it the way I think people like it. I tried to make it “typical fullon”. It’s not how I would do it.
It shows two things: my own insecurity and my intentions. I need to show off, I’m not myself because I thought not to be “enough” if I’m just my self.
I didn’t want that to happen, but it’s there through the whole song. I believe that I can hear that relatively often in other peoples music, especially mainstream. The sad thing is, that one usually is more succesfull, if he intends to “sound like it’s commonly liked”. So was this song… In this case my intention was to sound like mainstream, but that doesn’t justify not being myself.
It makes this song to one of the worse, most adapted, unhonest songs I’ve made so far. I can stand behind it, but I’m not proud of it.
I have no idea what the first, melancholic part should be, I like the atmosphere, but it sounds to much polished, again because I thought it needs to be perfect to be liked.
On the other hand I like a lot the wild middle part, the break before it, the break after it as well as the long part until the silly break begins. I invested a lot of time and I think it became really good. It’s simple but honest. It expresses the feelings I have towards the “uniform full on constraints” that lay upon so many artists and, in my eyes, are keeping them from finding their own music.
This is most of the definite- fact- information I can give about the song from my side. Some parts of it I logicaly only found out after I had finished the song, otherwise I would have made it different. Certainly there is more information about me in that song, but that is what I wanted to tell here and I’m aware of.
Be aware, that we can not discuss that. This is just the way it is, the way I am, the way I put it (at first also partially unconsciously) into the song. If you didn’t feel that, you missed it.
So if you didn’t feel that, why don’t go, listen again try to hear what I mean. Then listen to other songs and look for similar sensations. The “syndrome” of showing off, of trying to impress in this song is all over so many other songs too. Try to feel behind the music.